The Parable of the Cookie Jar

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am a woman.  And I am incredibly happy.  With all that has been said concerning the Ordain Women movement, I would like to try my hand at explaining my thoughts the way the Savior often taught…in a parable.  I don't pretend to be perfect, and my parable is far from being perfect, as well.  However, I am hoping that this will shed a helpful, somewhat clarifying light on how the roles men and women play in the Lord’s church can be different while still maintaining the same level of value and importance.

The Parable of the Cookie Jar

One bright Friday morning, Tom is skipping to school with an extra hop in his step.  His class has earned enough points to have a cookie party!  Mr. Jones will be bringing cookies and a movie for the children to enjoy during the last portion of the school day.  There is a buzz of excitement in the air as 24 seven and eight year olds try to survive until the afternoon recess bell rings, calling them back into the classroom where jars of cookies and delightful entertainment will await them.  When that blessed time comes, and Tom and his friends come into the room, they see jars of cookies lined up on the front table.  The buzz of excitement now turns into audible chatter and giggles.  Mr. Jones calls for the children’s attention and asks for all of the boys to come up front.  He explains that each boy will receive a cookie jar, and each boy’s jar will be filled with cookies to share with his classmates.  The boys all look into their jars and their smiles quickly melt down to grimaces.  One boy exclaims, “Ew!  Oatmeal raisin…I hate oatmeal raisin!”  Another disappointedly adds, “I wish I could have gotten oatmeal raisin, I got peanut butter, and I’m allergic to peanuts!”  Mr. Jones explains that each boy will not be enjoying cookies from his own jar, but will be asked to share the cookies in his jar with others in the class.  Annie raises her hand, “But, Mr. Jones, I want to hold a cookie jar!”  “By not holding a jar,” Mr. Jones responds, “ your hands will be free to do other very important things.  Plus, you will still receive just as many cookies as every other student in the class.  I’m simply assigning the boys to hold the jars.  That’s all.”

How can I be a happy Mormon woman?  Why am I not frustrated that I don’t hold the priesthood?  I have a testimony of my Heavenly Father and have had one from a very early age.  I know he loves me.  I know he is very aware of my circumstances in life, and I know that he wants me to be just as happy as he is.  I trust him, and I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, as it is taught in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and by the living prophets and apostles.  I know that I can and will receive all that the Father has in store for me by honoring the covenants I made with him in the temple.  I am so grateful for my knowledge and testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel.  My membership in the church is not a source of frustration.  Indeed, it is the very reason I am happy.

Inspired by the life of a great prophet

I just finished reading the Song of Solomon...not necessarily deemed as scripture, and am now on to reading the book of Isaiah. What a change of pace! I am so excited to delve into the teachings of one of the greatest, most-quoted prophets in scriptural history.

As I thought about this man, whose life and teachings have and continue to influence for good so many other people, it caused me to take a look at myself and ask, what difference am I making in the lives of others?

First and foremost, I am a wife and mother...two very influential and critical roles in blessing the lives of others. I have much to say about those two roles, but that is for another entry, another day.

Beyond those two very important roles, I am a daughter, sister, friend, and visiting teacher. I cannot hope to do all the good I am meant to do for others if I do not take the time and make the effort to get to know those children of God that surround me, and what is going on for them in their lives. Relying on revelation from the spirit is not enough. Praying to know what I should do for someone is not enough. If I don't go out of my way to speak with someone and prove myself a trustworthy, caring friend, then I can't expect The Lord to fully-utilize my influence for good in the lives of his children. Social confidence, having never been my forte, could make this task somewhat difficult for me. It is not impossible, though. The Lord knows our capabilities. He knows our weaknesses. He sees our struggles. He understands our hearts. He will help me in my efforts to know, love, and serve his children.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest...

Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun."

It is so easy, in our world today, to forget that life is supposed to be joyful...not all joy...there must be sorrow, too, but there IS also supposed to be JOY!  I find it, also, important to note that it specifically mentioned living joyfully with your spouse.  Life is hard, and so is marriage at times, but--when centered on the Savior--marriage has the potential to bring more joy into your life than any other relationship on this earth, save only your relationship with God and Jesus Christ.

Let's remember to live joyfully...date regularly, tell your spouse you love them, be spontaneous, leave them little notes, buy their favorite ice cream instead of yours, etc...and make the most of the precious moments we are given together in this life.

Two are better than one.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 "(9)Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.  (10)For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

At first, reading this scripture, my thought was, "this is like a good marriage...where each spouse is striving to give 100%...like my marriage."  But, it occurred to me that--often times through no fault of their own--some people don't have the opportunity for marriage in this life.  I then pondered on what this scripture could mean for them.  Then it hit me--a universal application of this scripture for every single person on Earth.

Though not everyone has the opportunity to marry in this life, each person ever to live does have the opportunity to believe in Christ, be baptized in his name, and partner with him in living a good, Christian life.  I cannot think of a more dependable friend to "lift up his fellow" than the Savior.  In fact, when we fall, his arm is always stretched out, waiting for us to grab hold of his reach, and allow him to pick us back up.  

This is also very important for married couples to remember.  If we really want a successful marriage, then both husband and wife need to partner with the Savior.  Centering our lives (and, therefore, our marriages) on the Savior is the only way to endure the challenges that life throws at us.  

I know that by being baptized in the name of the Savior through proper authority, being willing to take upon us his name and live as he lived, the Savior will be there to lift us up when we fall.  I am SO grateful to be married to a man who believes the same thing, and I love him very much!

Her price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."

I want to get on the Earth's intercom system and shout this scripture out for everyone to hear!  As daughters of God, we have SO much to give.  We have strength.  We have talents.  We have love.  We have compassion.  We have power...power to change the world.  Sadly, though, rather than changing the world, we are allowing the world to change us.  Why?  So we can walk like, look like, and sound like what the media and our society tell us we should be like?  If so, all of our efforts are vain, and we are allowing our worth to change with the fickle minds of the media.  This is NOT what we were divinely created to be!

Speaking to the young women in society, can I promise you that when you wear that sheer shirt and those tight pants, your boyfriend doesn't love you more?  He probably lusts after you more...let's be honest, men and women are wired differently...but if you want a man to really love YOU...(yes, that includes your body...but not JUST your body, or even MOSTLY your body...ALL of YOU)...then become a real woman.  How "real" is cleavage and showing some leg?  It is only as real as it is lasting, and take it from a young mother of two children, less than ten years from now you will be looking in the mirror at a very different body.  So please, please, please, look inside of yourself and see more than the potential to become the next object of lust and pleasure for some guy who doesn't deserve you.  There ARE good, strong men out there that are praying everyday to find a woman worth waiting for.  All you have to do is be that woman, and you will start finding those men.

The world wants you to live in the moment.  The Lord wants you to live forever...and that requires virtue.  So go...live up to your REAL potential!  I promise you will find lasting happiness that you couldn't even have hoped for otherwise!

A True Friend

True friends have integrity.  While tact and care should always be taken, we don't do our friends any favors by simply telling them what they want to hear.

Proverbs 27:6 - "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

What makes the "wounds of a friend" faithful?  It is because those wounds are made out of love for that friend.  True friends have courage.

If you wouldn't throw a rock at someone, then you shouldn't gossip about them.

You’re chatting with a friend, and someone else’s name comes up.  You’re not really being mean, you’re just making conversation, right?  I mean…all of the things you are saying about this other person are true, so it probably doesn’t even count as gossip.  Perhaps I can help change your mind…

Proverbs 26:20 & 22 “(20)Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth….(22)The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”

Because we cannot see, physically, the damage done by words, we erroneously assume that words don’t do any harm…especially when the person we are speaking of is not present.  If we wouldn’t throw a rock at someone, then we shouldn’t gossip about them.  When we gossip, one thing we forget to consider is that—unlike throwing a rock at someone—gossiping about someone not only hurts the person you are talking about, but you, also.  If the person you are speaking with is hearing you gossip about someone else, are they going to be inclined to share something heavy on their heart with you?  Not if they think the way I do.  In order to be true followers of Christ, we need to be the kind of trustworthy, sympathetic friend our Savior was and is…and that kind of person doesn’t gossip.